My little brother Brett recently expressed concern over my weight, saying I was "incredibly skinny" and looked "sick and malnourished". I've never believed I've had an eating disorder as much as I've had distorted eating habits and ED tendencies, but I've struggled with Body Dysmoprhic Disorder since early teens, yet when I heard he said this, I lit up a little on the inside. Quite sad, huh? Usually I'm happy with the way I look (which is an accomplishment for someone with a history of BDD), but I have days where I feel overweight and, dare I say, fat. I KNOW I'm none of those things, but when I hear someone say I look "skinny" overlooking the word "incredibly" (hence, give-that-girl-a-sandwich-skinny) I'll take it because I look in the mirror and skinny is far from what I percieve in the mirror. And for the most part, I don't encourage eating disorders, and usually look to woman with a healthier body image... heck, recently I was watching a segment on a plus size model named Crystal Renn and it was so uplifting and inspiring that I almost cried because I felt immense happiness for her (if you don't know her, she's a former model who struggled with anorexia, and now she's a successful plus size model).

Anyway, I'm just trying to understand the complexity behind this. I strive to be as confident and happy as Crystal Renn feels about her own body... and I think all girls, no matter what your shape and size, should feel the same! I look at my reaction to Brett's comment in retrospect and think "I dont want to feel happy that someone thinks I look incredibly skinny and malnourished" rather I want to be someone people look at and think "she looks confident and healthy" and thats what lights me up.

Volumptuous beauties! Woman I look to for inspiration, Sophia Loren and Raquel Welch.